{"id":138,"date":"2025-03-22T19:00:29","date_gmt":"2025-03-22T19:00:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/scottferguson.com\/thoughts\/?p=138"},"modified":"2026-01-24T14:40:51","modified_gmt":"2026-01-24T19:40:51","slug":"you-might-be-from-ohio-if","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/scottferguson.com\/thoughts\/2025\/03\/you-might-be-from-ohio-if\/","title":{"rendered":"You Might Be From Ohio If\u2026"},"content":{"rendered":"

An affectionate roast of the Heart of it All, Ohio.\u00a0\u00a0<\/em>
\nLet\u2019s face it: being from Ohio is like being part of a very large, slightly confused, always snacking family. We may not have beaches or mountains, but we do have Cedar Point, Jell-O salad, and opinions about how<\/em> to say \u201cCuyahoga.\u201d So, in the spirit of Midwest pride and pothole dodging, here\u2019s a list of things that just might give away your Ohio roots:<\/p>\n

\n
The SEASONS AND WEATHER List<\/h5>\n

1. Your year has four seasons:<\/strong>
\nWinter, Still Winter, Almost Winter, and Construction. Bonus fifth season: \u201cWhy is it snowing in April?!\u201d
\n2. You\u2019ve had school canceled for being too cold.<\/strong>
\nAnd also too hot. Ohio is just… extra like that.
\n3. You\u2019ve worn a winter coat and<\/em> flip-flops in the same week.<\/strong>
\nAnd no one blinked.
\n4. You design Halloween costumes around snowsuits.<\/strong>
\nBecause Batman can still be Batman under five layers and a hat.
\n5. You know what should be knee-high by the Fourth of July.<\/strong>
\n(If you just whispered \u201ccorn,\u201d you pass.)<\/p>\n

6. Deer season is practically a national holiday.<\/strong>
\nBusinesses close. Marriages pause. Camouflage is formalwear.
\n7. Driving in winter is easier because the potholes are full of snow.<\/strong>
\nSmooth(ish) roads brought to you by frozen slush and sheer optimism.<\/p>\n

\n
The Sports and EnterTainment List<\/h5>\n

1. You think all professional football teams should wear orange.<\/strong>
\nAnd if they don\u2019t? Clearly, they\u2019re doing it wrong. Go Browns. Go Bengals. We don\u2019t choose\u2014we suffer equally.<\/em>
\n2. Your school closed for the state basketball tournament.<\/strong>
\nAnd possibly also for deer season. Because of priorities.
\n3. You root for a college football team you\u2019ve never actually attended.<\/strong>
\nBecause in Ohio, allegiance is spiritual, not academic.
\n4. You know the Clippers vs. Mud Hens game isn\u2019t about reptiles.<\/strong>
\nIt\u2019s baseball<\/em>, and it matters. Even if half the crowd came just for hot dogs and fireworks.
\n5. You’re proud of the Ohio State Fair… but you’d rather be on the Millennium Force.<\/strong>
\nNothing says summer like livestock smells and<\/em> G-forces.<\/p>\n

6. You visit both Cedar Point and Kings Island in one summer.<\/strong>
\nBecause nothing builds family memories like long lines and overpriced lemonade.
\n7. \u201cVacation\u201d means Cedar Point, King’s Island, or \u201cmy cousin’s lake house.\u201d<\/strong>
\nBonus points if the lake is more of a large puddle.
\n8. Your local paper\u2019s sports section is bigger than world news.<\/strong>
\nBecause LeBron is<\/em> world news, okay?<\/p>\n

\n
The Geography List<\/h5>\n

1. You snicker when someone says they\u2019re from Lima.<\/strong>
\nNot because you’re rude\u2014just because the State Hospital flashback is immediate and involuntary. (Bless them.)
\n2. You live within 30 minutes of a college, whether you want to or not.<\/strong>
\nAnd you probably root for their<\/em> rival.
\n3. \u201cToward the lake\u201d means north. \u201cToward the river\u201d means south.<\/strong>
\nAnd \u201cover by Kroger\u2019s\u201d is a perfectly valid direction.
\n4. You can tell if someone is from Northern or Southern Ohio by their accent.<\/strong>
\nAnd their choice of soda vs. pop. (It\u2019s \u201cpop,\u201d by the way.)
\n5. You measure distance in minutes, not miles.<\/strong>
\n\u201cColumbus? Oh, that\u2019s like\u2026 an hour and a half, depending on construction and cows.\u201d<\/p>\n

6. \u201cDown South\u201d means Kentucky.<\/strong>
\nWhich is ironic, because your aunt lives there and says you\u2019re<\/em> the one with the accent.
\n7. You can spell \u201cWapakoneta,\u201d \u201cTuscarawas,\u201d and \u201cBellefontaine\u201d without hesitation.<\/strong>
\nAnd you know the second<\/em> \u201cn\u201d is the doubled one in Cincinnati. (Looking at you, spelling bees.)<\/p>\n

\n
The Rest<\/h5>\n

1. You know what a buckeye really is.<\/strong>
\nAnd you\u2019ve turned it into peanut butter-laced diabetes on a tray. Delicious, deadly, and totally worth it.<\/em>
\n2. You\u2019ve heard of the Great Nickel Beer Night Riot.<\/strong>
\nYou weren\u2019t there\u2026 or were you?<\/em>
\n3. You carry jumper cables year-round.<\/strong>
\nAnd maybe even cat litter. We\u2019re prepared and<\/em> thrifty.
\n4. You know the Serpent Mounds weren\u2019t made by snakes.<\/strong>
\nBut you still wouldn’t camp there alone.
\n5. You end your sentences with unnecessary prepositions.<\/strong>
\n\u201cWhere\u2019s my coat at?\u201d Don\u2019t judge\u2014it\u2019s regional charm.<\/p>\n

6. You drink pop<\/em>, not soda.<\/strong>
\nAnd you\u2019ll fight anyone who says otherwise. (With passive-aggressive politeness, of course.)
\n7. You think the four food groups are beef, pork, bacon, and Jell-O salad.<\/strong>
\nBonus points if the Jell-O has pretzels or marshmallows. Or both.
\n8. You have security lights on your house\u2026 and still leave it unlocked.<\/strong>
\nWe\u2019re trusting\u2014but we watch<\/em> you.
\n9. You know which leaves are safe to use as toilet paper.<\/strong>
\nBoy Scouts? Nah. Ohio life skills.
\n10. You\u2019ve already told three people about this list.<\/strong>
\nAnd added, \u201cYou know what else is funny about Ohio…?\u201d<\/p>\n

\n
Conclusion<\/strong><\/h5>\n

Ohio isn\u2019t just a state. It\u2019s a lifestyle. A strange, wonderful, flannel-wrapped, pothole-patched lifestyle. And if you saw yourself in half this list? Congratulations. You\u2019re home, no matter where you roam.\u00a0 Now grab a buckeye (the candy kind), crack open a pop, and enjoy this 65-degree March day. It might snow tomorrow.<\/p>\n

\n
\ud83d\udca1 Call to Action<\/strong><\/h5>\n

Which one hit the hardest\u2014or did I miss a classic Ohio-ism? Drop it in the comments and let\u2019s make this list even longer than the line for the Top Thrill Dragster.<\/p>\n

\n
Additional Reading:<\/h5>\n